It is an emotional day today. Jacob and Len are leaving to go back to Missouri today. It is the end of our "vacation" and the beginning of my travel. William got here onto Maui yesterday, and the discussion of our travels has begun. I think we will compliment each other, if we do not kill each other first!
What is the emotion.....lots of letting go. Letting go of my kids, and the thought that I can control them. Letting go of Jay, this is not something I imagine we would have ever done. This is all me. Letting go of my desire/need/self imposed obligations to take "care" of my family. (read Jacob and Len). This is my adventure. Mine. Just me. Solo if I wanna be. Granted, there are several people I know I will be meeting up with, or meeting for the first time, alone is something I can chose to be or not. This is me living without thought of what someone else would think. It is me taking risks, if I want to. Going to explore a specific place, if I want to. Staying in my hotel all day, if I want to.
At the moment, all I want to do is cry. Is this surrender? Is this joy? Is this sadness? All I know is that it is. I miss my kids already. I miss them as little boys. And that, is something they are definitely not.
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