I DID IT!

I did it. I climbed to the Tiger's Nest.
We started early, leaving the parking lot about 8:30 am. It was a rough climb, Sherab was amazing as he just kept telling me easy does it, slow and steady....(think he learned anything at the rehab???). He was so patient, and was an amazing motivator. Wonder if he might consider a job as personal trainer? Of course, he just walked up, like nothing......
We got to the tea house for tea. He told me that if we wanted to get inside the monastery, we had to leave in about 15 minutes. I was exhausted. I was also highly emotional. Not sure where it came from, doesn't really matter. All I know was the tears were flowing freely, and had a strong sense of sadness. I was more of a letting go. Like that moment where the pain of change is just a little less than the pain of staying the same. I knew I had to let go of all of them. Mom, Dad, Tony, Gram, and Jay. And letting go did not mean they would no longer be with me, it meant that I could let go of the suffering of grief. And in letting go of that, I would let them go. And I could go on, having them in my heart to love always, not carrying the burden of what I did and did not do while they were alive, when they died....all that stuff.
So on we went. I had one moment when I told Sherab how I was feeling and I was crying. He could see how upset I was. He focused on Jay, (I had saved some of the ashes I brought just for this occasion), and encouraged me to continue, focusing on what I was going to do. We would go slowly, slowly, and if the temple was closed for lunch, we would wait. And on we went. We met several people along the way. It is a true pilgrimage. And all of a sudden, we were at the steps. I could see the monastery and I knew I had to go. Even if it was closed, I was going. And we went. We got there exactly at 1pm, and Sherab asked if we could just go into the main temple. We were allowed 15 minutes. More steps. We went in, were blessed by the lama, and then I was able to spread ashes from the "nest".
Words cannot describe how that felt. Not even going to try.

The entire trip was 8 hours. We stopped twice for tea, once invited by some Nepalese followers of the Lama at the nest.

My trip to Bhutan has been life altering. I am truly blessed.

Namaste.

Bhutan, one more day....

I can't believe I have been here almost a week. What an amazing country. I cannot yet post photos, the signal is not strong enough. I have spent a few days in Thimpu, and a few in Panakha. Thimpu was mostly sightseeing, it is a big city by Bhutanese standards. One good hike, but mostly just walking. Not good if I am going to do this climb on Monday! Personally, I think my shoes are too tight, and if I had been smart I would have bought new ones in Thimpu. Now it is the night before the hike and I am flipping out thinking about the 600 steps that come AFTER the main climb!In both directions! My knees hurt just thinking about it. I will do this. If I was willing to climb the Batu steps in Malaysia, this is 200 more!
Enough of the fear talking...In Panakha we attended a festival. Beautiful colors and dancers. I was more taken with the people attending the festival. We had a picnic the second day, as did many other festival goers...I got some really good photos!
We also went to the shopping area. Mostly things for Bhutanese, a few other items, I made a purchase or two. Sherab is happy with me because I have helped the economy here.
One night, I went to a meeting. Jay would have loved it. In a little room off to the back of the rehab drop in center. IP's on the floor, copies of the draft of Living Clean, sweet (hot) coffee and they were passing around cigarettes like, well, like cigarettes! (Cigarettes are illegal here). They asked me to share, so I did. I was so damn happy just to be in a meeting!!! This is the core homegroup in Bhutan. The first group. They meet a few nights a week. The meeting was awesome. The lone woman there asked if I could come visit the rehab.
So of course I was going to do that. Now came the part of explaining to Sherab and Natin about the meeting, the rehab, me, recovery....it was relatively easy, I thought. Until the next day when the questions started. Really, it was awesome. I mean, these guys might never had heard of NA or 12 steps. And when I did go visit the rehab, Teshering (the woman I met) insisted they come in for a tea. Then the Q&A started and it was awesome. More questions on the way to Paro. and i KNOW i am the only client they have ever taken to rehab.....
What an amazing journey. The biggest part of this adventure has been the spiritual aspect. Plus, I am reading the Tibetan book of Living and Dying. I came seeking. I have found....not sure what, more is being revealed daily.
When I find the words, I will blog about this part of my journey. Not just here in Bhutan, the whole thing, starting in Maui.
Gotta sleep....big climb tomorrow!